Deep End Of Desire
by Nora-HBS-Girl
Summary: Nora is married to Shaun but five years ago he had a massive stroke and lost his ability to function in almost every area. Nora spent those years taking care of him and raising their daughter. When the loneliness consumes her, she turns to her old flame R.J., who reawakens a fire in her she is unable to turn away from, despite the guilt. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

She looked at the fresh tulips in the garden and smiled. It was the first time she had allowed herself that luxury in far too long. Today it was raining and she was almost tempted to go outside and get wet. The hardness around her heart was beginning to thaw...except the reasons for it would not be accepted. Wiping a stray tear away with her finger, she forced herself up from her office chair and made her way down the hall. She looked at her little girl sleeping in her bed and she pulled the covers up over her small body and kissed her cheek.

"Sleep tight angel," she said, and turned out the light. She would always be the one bright light in her life no matter what happened. She shut the door and quietly walked into the room that she used to share with her husband. She knew he would be pretending to sleep but she pressed on. She took the plate of food off the night stand and emptied the catheter...replacing it with a fresh tube. She knew that Shaun hated the fact that he had lost nearly all his abilities after he had suffered a massive stoke just over five years ago...he especially hated the fact that he had been unable to make love to her or hold his daughter...she remembered rather vividly the words he had said to her the day he realized he wouldn't ever regain those capabilities.

_"Why don't you just let me die Nora? It would be kinder than this. I can't be your husband anymore. I can never make love to you again." _

_"That's not all we are Shaun...I love you...I will never abandon you." _

_"I don't want your damn pity. Don't you understand that I don't feel like a man anymore? This isn't living Nora. And don't tell me that you'd be okay with living the rest of your life without feeling what we used to feel...I can't give you what you need Nora..." _

She remembered telling him that he was wrong. She had spent the last five years doing everything she promised him she would do when she married him. She loved him in sickness and in health. She took care of his every need. She made sure he took his medicine...she turned him so he wouldn't get bed sores...she gave him a bath...she changed his catheter... She took him to the doctor...she had basically done everything for him...even when he resented her for it. And on top of everything she had done for _him, _she had also raised their little girl on her own...she had made sure that their daughter knew that he loved her but that he was incapable of being her dad right now. She had been mother and father and nurse and cook and housekeeper and taxi driver...and in between all of that, she had also successfully moved her law practice to her home so she could take care of her husband. He appreciated none of it but that wasn't why she had done it. She had done it because he was the love of her life and there was no other option.

Except as the years dragged on and the doctors continued to tell her that there was no change...no miracle drug that would restore what he had lost because of the stroke...she began to feel the strain and the loneliness from being married in name only...of loving a man who couldn't love her back anymore. She had tried countless times to be close to him but he had pushed her away...partly because he couldn't handle it knowing he couldn't be what they both wanted and partly because he wanted her to leave...he didn't want her building her life around him when he could no longer make her happy...nothing he said would make her change her mind. She was convinced that love held no time limit.

She would curse the hand she was dealt almost every day...and then chastise herself for even thinking it...he was alive...she still had her husband with her...And yet it was after the five year mark...just a few months ago to be exact...that was when she began to have the first true pangs of loneliness...she began to long for something more than this...she longed to be touched by a man...that only made her feel worse. She had been through counseling and gone to support groups but they had all told her the same thing...she was a woman with needs and she wasn't getting those needs met anymore...it was only natural for her to feel this way.

_But it didn't feel natural to her_..._it felt wrong._ That was when it had all started. She had been feeling lost and alone and terrible...and he had been her friend. He had shown up when she needed someone...been her sounding board and her shoulder to cry on...for two months she had leaned on him for support...

_Until it became more... _He had given her the tulips in her yard and every time she looked out the window and saw them blooming, she was reminded of him...she knew the world wouldn't understand what they had done and on most days, she didn't understand it herself...except today...today when the flowers were blooming and the rain was coming down, she found herself looking at the note in her pocket.

_Meet me at "Turbulent Lake" and I'll show you what you've been missing all these years. For once in your life, think about yourself. I'll be waiting. _

_R.J. _

Could she really just pick up and meet him at a place that would take at least two hours to drive to...she had responsibilities after all..._responsibilities that could be delegated, _came the inner voice. Maybe he was right. Maybe she needed this for herself.

_It was the first time in five years that she was seriously considering an affair...was she crazy? _

It didn't matter what she was...she was already picking up the phone and making arrangements to delegate her responsibilities...she was soon going to be making a very big decision...to cheat or not to cheat? She already knew the answer...she would cross over the line.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Her hands were shaking on the whole drive up. This wasn't something she normally did. She wasn't the type of woman who would drive for hours to meet a man she wasn't married to...and as it was, it wasn't until a couple hours ago that she had even known she was going...She had, after all, had to make arrangements for her daughter and her husband. That seemed odd to even think it... _who made arrangements for their immobile husband so they could have an affair? What kind of person did that make her? _

It hardly seemed to matter now as she pulled her car into the parking lot of the lake and saw that his black sports car was already parked in one of the lanes. She took a deep breath and pulled her own car to a screeching halt in a more private area...the last thing she needed was anyone asking questions. She paused as she rested her head back against the seat and gathered her strength. She had seemed so sure a few hours ago...now her doubts were clouding her mind. _Could she really go through with this knowing her husband was back home...doing what? He had been the same for five years. She hated herself for feeling this way but she couldn't seem to get herself to turn around. She wanted him. That was the simple truth...she wanted him in the worst way..._

The guilt she felt for being aroused by this opportunity seemed to dissipate the moment she got out of the car and walked towards his. He opened the door of the sports car and she climbed inside.

"I was beginning to wonder if you were coming," he said, as he rubbed the bare skin of her leg.

"I was begging to think I couldn't...couldn't go through with this. I'm still having doubts R.J. I'd be lying if I said I was sure about anything."

He paused momentarily as he looked at her. He could have told her how he felt about her...how he had always felt about her... but he didn't. Instead, he raked his nimble fingers through her hair as he breathed in the scent of her..."I can erase all those doubts," he said, without hesitation. His mouth was demanding as he ravaged her neck with hot, greedy kisses. She was sighing against his chest as he lowered her trembling body onto the seat of the car. She hadn't had sex in over five years...in many ways she was a virgin. He would make sure she never forgot how good it could be.

"It's okay Nora. It's okay to be tempted. I'm going to do more then tempt you now."

She was writhing underneath him as he ground his hips into her. She reached for the buckle of his pants and tugged them violently down his legs as she reached for his boxers. She needed to be touched more than anything tonight..."I want you naked," she whispered huskily. He didn't question it. He wanted her the same way.

"Show me," she said. "Show me how bad you want me."

"Feel it," he said instead. She enfolded her now sweaty hands around the swelling of his member and squeezed. "You're so hard," she said. "I haven't felt a man this...this stiff in...so long," she said, a hint of tears in her eyes.

"Go on sweetheart...it's okay...you can taste it."

She smiled in spite of herself as she dragged his raging hard-on into her mouth. She could feel him swell even more as she sucked him completely in her mouth. They were both moaning in ecstasy as she tasted the semen he released in her throat. He tasted so good," she thought, as she tasted him on her tongue. R.J. then hauled her back against the seat as he pulled on her skirt. "It's my turn now baby," he said. He was so hungry for her that he tore the material of her panties as he tugged them down her legs. She was too busy feeling the blistering thrusts of his tongue as he plunged it into her heat to notice.

"You're so wet Nora. Do you know how much that turns me on?"

She trembled as he sent his tongue back inside her...challenging him to show her. "Oh God," she cried, as he sucked on her clit until she was cumming all over him. "I like when you can't control yourself," he said. "You taste so damn good when you're this wet," he said.

"R.J. ... R.J. Please," she begged, as he ripped open her blouse. She shivered as he brushed his fingers up her torso until one hand was hooked in her bra and the other was drawing circles on her abdomen. She was completely naked now and she had never felt more exposed...but she was sinking into his chest as he captured her hardened breasts in his mouth. "That's it baby...that's it," he said, as he grazed her nipple with his teeth. She was throbbing as she buried her head into his neck. He sucked on it as he encircled her in his arms. He was now as naked as she was and they were both on the edge of complete surrender. She looked out her window at the lake and noticed the beauty of it for the first time. It had been frozen from the winter and now it was just starting to unthaw... just like her body was at his touch.

"What do you want," he asked her, as she raked her fingers through his dreadlocks.

"You," she responded. "Please God...I want you."

Where?"

"You know where," she said, as she pressed her desire into his mouth in a blistering kiss. "Say it Nora. I need you to say it," he responded when they pulled apart.

"Inside me...I need you inside me...F-Fucking me."

She had never said those words before and she hoped she wouldn't burn in hell for saying them now...for feeling them...but he was a different kind of man...he made her want things she had no business wanting...She most definitely had no business wanting him...except she did...heaven help her...she wanted him inside her... filling her up...touching her in all the places her husband didn't do anymore...she needed him to touch her...to want her...to fill her... more then anything, she needed him to consume her with his seed.

She was sitting in his lap now as his fingers trailed down her backside...parting her ass wider as he spread her open. He shifted her so they were sitting doggie style and he whispered in her ear..."I bet your husband never fucked you from behind before," he said. She didn't have time to respond...she was grasping the steering wheel as he pumped into her ass. "Oh shit," she screamed, as the car began to shake. He was buried so deep inside her ass that she was beginning to feel him rubbing against her sweet spot. She had never been fucked in her ass before but it was so hard and dirty that she kind of liked it. Just when she thought, he would pull out of her, he pushed her against the steering wheel and began to eat her out.

"How does that feel Nora...tell me how that feels," he asked?

"Like I...Oh what are you doing...shit R.J...shit is that your...your..."

Her words were cut off from extreme pleasure and she wrapped her legs around his torso as he pierced her dripping hole with his very hard shaft. He crashed into her so hard and deep that the car began to rock from the intensity. As they continued to ravage each other on the steering wheel, the windows steamed up... and their screams of fierce pleasure could be heard around the lake as they made feverish love until they finally exploded inside each other, completely spent.

R.J. had done things to her folds that she had never felt with anyone else. He was right about one thing...after she had experienced mind blowing sex with him, she would never be the same. Even as she left his car, her lower anatomy trembled. How would she be able to return to her husband with this aching need still oozing out of her for the man who had just become her lover?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

She had spent the next few weeks trying to make up for her betrayal. She had ignored R.J.'s phone calls as she tended to her husband and daughter. Sometimes when she was awake at night in her lonely bed, she wondered if her husband knew she had been with another man...a man that still left her throbbing in places she had no business throbbing. Tonight was one of those nights when she couldn't sleep so she threw a robe over her very scant bra and underwear and crept out onto the front porch swing. It was dark so she didn't have to worry about anyone asking questions. That was when she saw him.

"What are you doing here," she asked him?

"I think you know the answer to that," he said. "Ignoring my phone calls was a very bad thing Nora. It just means I'll have to fuck you harder this time. Make it impossible for you to forget who you belong to."

She would have opened her mouth to protest but he was right. Her body was his. When he stepped into the light of the moon, she could see that he was already naked. She drew in a ragged breath as he lowered her onto the swing. This time there would be no foreplay...it was just unbridled need. He used his greedy fingers to tear her panties away and she felt the penetration almost immediately...his arms were wrapped around her wet, sweaty body as he buried his erection deep inside her. As he held her in his arms, she began to quiver at his touch.

"I know what you need," he said. Lifting her naked body into his arms, he carried her to the back of her house and into the laundry room. He set her down on the drier and turned it on. She could feel the vibrating sensation on her ass as he pressed his full length into her dripping hole..."Oh shit," she cried out, as he pounded deeper inside her. He was doing things to her insides that were making her wet and hard...she could feel her clit swell up as he fucked her hard and deep. The double penetration of the drier and his cock were making her vibrate with desire. With her still inside him, her face showing the signs of passion, he shot a picture and sent it to her phone. "Now you will remember what it looks like to be this turned on...don't you dare ignore my calls again...you know we will keep doing this...it's in our blood now...you are mine completely."

He left her with a soul searing kiss that included his tongue very far inside her mouth as he feasted on her lips...and when he pulled out of her, she collapsed on the floor of the laundry room, still trembling from his touch. She wrapped her hand around her protruding clit and tried to rub the desire away. She went back inside and fell into her bed naked. She would dream of him filling her as she finally settled into sleep.

++++

The next morning she would wake to a single rose on her pillow and a note. She had believed last night was just a dream but he had been here...in her room...after he had fucked her in the laundry room and on the front porch swing. _What the hell was happening to her? She was becoming exactly the kind of woman she didn't want to be?_

She looked down at the note in spite of herself. _"I love that you were having wet dreams about me...we can make them real again. I'll see you tonight." _

She shot up from the bed in a sex induced haze..._did she agree to see him tonight? She couldn't remember anything past his cock filling her._ She needed to put an end to this affair before it consumed her and cost her far too much. Except when she turned on her phone to call him, there was the picture of them fucking...and she was instantly wet again.

"Oh shit," she swore to herself. "She would need another cold shower before she could go back to her duties today. It was wrong for her to be having an affair when her husband needed her...she needed to get her priorities straight...even if that meant giving up her lover..._but could she...could she truly walk away from the best sex of her life? She just didn't know._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Just over a week had passed since she had made the decision to end her affair and already she was feeling the weight of her loneliness. She loved her husband dearly and she was determined to be a good wife to him in his darkest days...but there was still that part of her that was miserable without the feverish touch of her lover. She needed to get out of the house and away from the everyday responsibilities that being a caregiver sometimes suffocated her with. She didn't regret the decision to stay with him in sickness and in health...she had promised him that she would stand by him forever on the day that she married him... and she meant it... in truth, it wasn't his fault that he had suffered a stroke...but sometimes she could sit with him and long for the days when they used to be as heated as she had only recently been with R.J. She had spent five years hoping for that miracle that would never come...and it made her cold and bitter in some ways...

_Until her ex lover R.J. had walked back into her life..._ things were different this time...he had become someone she could rely on...and she did...too much...and this time when they made love, it wasn't about revenge...she wasn't drunk and he wasn't trying to take something from his brother...they had fallen into sex because they had needed each other in a way that they needed no one else_...but that didn't erase the fact that she was still a married woman_..._and it didn't change the fact that she had given herself to him willingly...more then once...she would be lying if she said it was just sex...she had, in truth, made love to him...she loved him too_...

She looked down at the wedding ring still on her finger and silently cried to herself. She was in love with two men and she had already decided what she was going to do. She had taken vows to Shaun and though she had already broken them, she needed to find a way to make it up to him...she would never be able to live with herself if she didn't. This was her life...this was the life she had chosen when she married him...when she had given birth to his daughter...she would remain by his side until they were parted by death...that was what she had promised...that was what she would give.

She quietly walked into his room and leaned over his bed. "I know that you don't want to hear this but I have to say it. I am not going to walk out on you. I have loved you for a lot of years and I still do. I'm sorry that you don't feel like that's enough but...but anytime you want to be reminded that we existed, all you have to do is look at your daughter...she's all you Shaun...and we both miss you. Don't you even care that your little girl is growing up without you? She needs you Shaun...and so do I."

She said nothing more...she simply leaned down and kissed his forehead. She would leave him to rest now. The nurse would be coming for her shift and she would be gone. For Four hours, she could disappear without the stress of taking care of a man who didn't want to be taken care of... of loving a man who didn't want to be loved anymore...it was frustrating and she was worn out...and heartbroken...and just so many other things she couldn't put into words. She was, by all accounts, a broken woman...just as Shaun had sworn he was a broken man...the only difference is that she was broken inside...and he was broken physically. _How did two broken souls ever find a way to heal without shattering what was left of them?_

She left the house in tears when the nurse shuffled in...her daughter was at a sleepover at a friends... so today would be her day to think. She needed to go somewhere and think about how to tell R.J. goodbye...think about how to go on living her life with her husband... knowing full well that she would be alone in her marriage forever...She knew she was doing the right thing but she had run out of strength...she didn't know if she was strong enough to give him up...he was, after all, her greatest addiction...her drug of choice...and she was violently suffering from withdrawal.

_How did you convince an addict to give up the very thing that's killing them...she was about to find out_...


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

They were calling for rain but it didn't seem to phase her... It was always so peaceful here by the creek. She rented a small row boat so she could stretch out on the water and think. She closed her eyes as she breathed in the spring air and the peaceful existence of being alone with her thoughts...and then the clouds opened up and the rain started coming down hard. She opened her eyes and tasted the rain on her tongue...she wasn't going to be chased away by the bad weather...she had never felt more alive. She was so engrossed in the feel of the rain on her skin that she barely even noticed him approaching.

"I thought I might find you here," he said, as he leaned over the rowboat. Her white blouse was sticking to her skin and he could see the traces of her lacy bra as it sunk into her now visible breasts. She tried to sit up but his hand was clutching her wet leg...and her skirt was practically nonexistent from the water... He licked his lips as he looked at her. "You should have known better than to think I wouldn't find you..."

She could feel the soft caress of his nimble fingers as they glided down her thighs and she instinctively let out a guttural cry as he pried her skirt from her body. "What...what do you want," she managed to ask him, as she lie shuddering beneath him on the boat. She knew she should have told him to stop except in the next second his mouth was on hers and he was pressing his tongue into her mouth as he kissed her. The kisses were long and lingering as he poured himself into her with everything he had...When they pulled apart, he was already dragging her panties down her legs violently.

"R.J., " she managed to say, as he pushed himself up onto the boat with her. Everything she wanted to say was lost in her lust when she saw his naked body pulling her against him. He tugged her legs with his free hand until they were fastened around his neck. "I want to play with your pussy," he said, as he stuck his head through her legs and began to sink his tongue into her soaking clit. He pushed into her hard until she was screaming his name as he sucked up her juice. The rain continued to fall as he shifted her hips and squeezed her bare ass as he pushed a finger inside. He was still ramming into her with his finger when he grazed her ear with his mouth and whispered the words she would never forget.

"You're mine Nora...I'm going to show you that it's impossible to forget that."

_He was right...She would never be able to forget the almost violent way he fucked her that day_. He peeled off her blouse with greedy hands and the buttons tore off in his fingers as he cast the garment into the water. "You're mine," he repeated. She felt the pulsations in her lower anatomy as he unsnapped her bra and flung it in the direction of her blouse. She was putty in his hands now...he would make her quake.

When she was naked, he dragged her towards him until her legs were wrapped around him and she was sitting in his lap. She buried her head in the crook of his neck as he sent earth shattering vibrations through her wet center as he pierced her with his shaft. "R.J., " she panted, as he rammed his erection into her completely...he was so far inside her that she was shaking in his arms, screaming his name and begging for more...

He gave her exactly that...He held her in his arms as she dug her fingers into his skin and they made love so many times that the sun was going down when she finally managed to pull herself away from his arms. He carried her from the boat into his car where he handed her a towel and a shirt. After they slipped into warm clothes, she looked at him with sad eyes.

"We can't keep doing this R.J. ..._I_ can't keep doing this."

She opened the car door and was about to step outside when he pulled her back. "You're not walking home like that Nora. I'm not letting you catch pneumonia."

"Haven't you heard anything I said," she asked?

"I heard...we both know you've said that before."

"It has to stick this time R.J. ...it has to...I can't live with myself if I don't walk away from you...I'm married...this is wrong."

"What's wrong is the fact that your husband doesn't touch you anymore...that he doesn't appreciate what he has..."

"It's...It's not his fault...He had a stroke...he's not able to be what I need him to be..."

"He could if he wanted to..."

"You know what...you can go to hell..."

She opened the car door and started running down the creek in tears...he should have known better than to fight with her...it was a dangerous thing. She was now throwing her shirt at him as she walked into the creek, no doubt looking for her clothes. "You can take this back...I don't want anything from you...I don't want anything..."

_Oh please don't cry, he thought. He was no good when she cried. _

"Nora please...please don't do this...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry."

He gathered her into his arms in the water...she was crying even harder now. "Would you even want me if I wasn't someone else's wife...that always seems to be when we fall into bed...please...please don't get mad...I just...I need to know."

He took his finger and wiped away her tears... and then he kissed her...gently, deeply, all consuming. He brushed the hair back from her face and cupped it in his hands as he looked her deeply in the eyes. "You are much more then just the chase for me...yes I would want you if you weren't married...I wish you were married to me..."

"You do," she asked, through tears?

"I do...I'm in love with you Nora...that might not be what you want to hear but it's what I need to say_...I love you damn it_...I want you to be with _me_."

"It's a mistake for you to love me R.J. I can't love you back. I'm...I'm not free to do that."

"But you do, don't you...you _do _love me...forget about Shaun for a minute...forget all the reasons we can't be together...just tell me...are you...or are you not...in love with me?"

"I..."

"Nora, it's okay...all you have to do is look me in the eyes and deny it...if you can do that then I'll walk away from you and leave you to the life that you say you want..."

"But what if I can't...R.J. we still can't be together?"

"Say it Nora...I dare you to tell me that you're not in love with me."

"I...I can't okay...I can't look you in the eyes and tell you that I don't love you because I do_...I'm in love with you too damn it_...but I also love my husband...that's what you don't get...I'm in love with you both."

"That may be...but I'm the one who sets you on fire...I'm the one who's in your blood...look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't want me to touch you again...tell me Nora..."

She stood up from the water and faced him...she put as much distance between them as she could...she knew she would need it. "I...I don't want you to touch me again," she lied. She was looking at the floor and R.J. caught it..."That's bull shit and you know it...look me in the eyes Nora...not at the floor."

He was forcing her to look at him as he held her chin and directed her eyes to him. "Don't look away Nora...just say it...I want to see your eyes when you say it."

She was looking into his eyes now...and she was on the verge of tears...she wished she was better at lying. "I don't want you to..."

"What...what don't you want," he asked her?

She started to sob then...real, painful sobs. "I don't want you to leave," she said instead. She was pulling his shirt over his head as he held her. The rain was stilling coming down as he carried her into the deep end of the creek. "Say it baby...say what you want," he asked, as he looked at her?"

She couldn't say the words she knew she _should_ say... She was shaking from the desire that coursed through her body. "_You..._R.J. I want _you_...make love to me...please...please God, make love to me...I need you so badly."

As she slid down his body with her mouth, she was sucking on his cock and he was crying out her name in passion. She let him pull her up from the ground and they leaned against the rocks as they kissed deeply. He emptied his desire into her even harder then the last time as the rain made them twice as wet. They had sex in the creek until they were both Cumming completely undone inside each other.

Her cell phone was ringing in her ear early the next morning and when she reached for it, she realized, she was in R.J.'s bed... "Oh God," she moaned when she realized she never went home the night before. She made up a plausible excuse and her daughter was set for another play date and her husband would have the nurse for another day. She would pay dearly for that but at this point what could she do. She was trying to sit up when she paused. Every bone in her body was aching. He smiled at her wickedly as he kissed her cheek.

"You might have a hard time moving today," he said.

She laid back on the pillow and sighed. "I guess we had a lot of sex didn't we?," she said.

"You could say that...we didn't fall asleep until a few hours ago."

"Oh God," she said again. "What the hell is wrong with me...I was supposed to be saying goodbye to you...not...not this."

"Well apparently you couldn't resist me..."

"I should have...R.J., this can't happen again...I'm leaving now."

"You'll be back, " he stated, as she forced herself up from the bed.

"No...No, I won't be...This is it R.J. ...We're done."

She was slipping her clothes on when R.J. came up from behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "We'll never be done Nora...and you know it."

"Please," she cried. "Please just let me go. I _have_ to do this. I _have _to. It's the right thing to do. We can't be together. I can't leave my husband."

"I never asked you to," he said, as he kissed her.

"I won't continue to betray him either," she said.

"Fine...then you can leave...right after you give me what you promised me."

"What did I promise you," she asked him?

"You know damn well what you promised me," he said, as he lifted her up off the ground and carried her into the bathroom.

_She was his addiction...but she was one he had no intention of ever giving up this time_..._He wanted his next fix like nothing else...and he would have it...over and over again, he would have her... He knew she was just as addicted to him... And he was right...She couldn't walk away from her drug just yet...she needed another hit. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

As he crushed her against the shower wall, the hot water cascaded down her body as he raked his fingers through her hair. She could feel the torturous stabs of his tongue as it thrust deeply into her mouth, enticing her with hungry kisses that left her whimpering. He tilted her head as he kneaded the shampoo into her hair and she was soon sinking into his taut chest as he massaged her scalp with his skillful hands.

"Relax," he said, as he let the water cleanse her hair...nibbling on her neck with ravenous need. She could feel the ache course through her veins as he let his tongue roam the other side of her body...dragging his teeth across her nipples as he grazed her with pleasure...pulling her engorged breasts into his greedy mouth one by one.

"Shit," she cried out, as he drank her in. "Shit you feel good."

"I'm going to have to wash that dirty mouth with soap," he said.

"Wash me now," she said, as she hoisted her bare ass into his hands and lifted herself into his arms. Her legs were rubbing against his own as he took the vibrating sponge off the shelf and lathered it with soap. "You're going to scream for me now," he said. "Dirty girls need to be punished."

"Punish me R.J... Please...I need...I need to Cum," she said huskily.

"Oh you'll Cum all right...hard."

He swept the sponge across her sensitive skin and watched as her initial hesitation turned into excitement...she was his now...she was trembling with desire as he 'washed' her body and sent waves of electricity through her already wet center. She was moaning his name as he rubbed the sponge against her clit. "Why aren't you inside me yet," she asked, as she felt the wetness between her legs. "I need you inside me R.J...I need you now..."

"What do you need baby," he asked her, as he slammed her hard against the shower wall. Her breath was ragged against his neck as she tried to speak through the rapid heartbeat that was pounding in her chest. "Pease don't make me say it," she begged him, as their eyes found each others.

"Say it baby," he repeated, as he teased her with tantalizing kisses that ran up and down her arms...teased her with his mouth as it closed around her clit and brought her extreme pleasure as he sucked.

"Fuck me," she finally said. "_Now_ R.J...I need you to fuck me _now_...I'm Cumming so hard already."

"Would you like me to help you with that," he joked, as he felt her Cum flow down her legs in an almost violent manner.

_"Yes_," she screamed..."Please help me R.J. Please help me release. I need to release so bad."

"I think you already are," he joked, as he dominated her slick folds with deep, vigorous thrusts...She was tensing around him as he continued to pump his thick member into her over and over again...She was still buried inside him when the water ran cold, so he simply turned off the faucet and carried her back to his bed...

"You're going to remember this so vividly Nora," he said. "You're going to be fucked so hard."

She couldn't find her voice...She was screaming out his name as she shuddered beneath him...and he rocked her world with thrusts so deep and hard that she couldn't breathe when it was over. He had been true to his word. He was buried so deep in her now that she couldn't ever forget what they had been to each other. Neither of them said a word when the sex was over...she turned over on her side and fell into slumber...and he pulled her against him as he held her close. Hours later, she would pull her clothes back on and slip out of his bed...She would swear once more that she would end their affair...

She was there when her daughter came home the next day and threw herself into her arms.

"Mommy where were you yesterday," she asked her mother?

"I'm sorry Angel...mommy was just...helping a friend," she said. _She couldn't tell her six year old daughter that she was having sex with another man and just lost track of time...lost track of everything but him. _"I'm sorry I wasn't here when you came home...did you have fun with your friend?"

"We had a tea party mommy. It was so much fun."

"I'm glad. How about you and I go get some ice cream. Would you like that?"

"I'd like that mommy," Shayla whispered, as she took her mothers hand and walked out the door. She didn't know what she was going to do but she knew she had to be a better mother to her daughter...be a better wife to Shaun...the vows that she had taken meant something to her and she had to stop being so selfish...

It was when she was sitting in the ice cream shop with her daughter that she had a sudden thought...maybe the best solution for them all was for her and her family to leave town...if she wasn't living in the same town as R.J., maybe it would be easier for her to stop thinking about him...wanting him...needing him...loving him...

She pulled her daughter close as she vowed to find a good place for them to live...and for Shaun to get better care then he was now...she was beginning to think he needed more then she could give him...she would give him everything now. She had made vows to him and she would keep them...starting with getting as far away from R.J. as she could.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

She could feel the muscles in her body constrict over the next few days. She had turned off her phone to avoid the added pressure of R.J.'s phone calls but it hadn't mattered... She was weak and tired and sore...and she felt the burning ache right down to her toes. Maybe that was the problem...Maybe she was feeling the physical withdrawal from her 'drug ' right down to her core. She hadn't seen him in days and she was feeling the sting of extreme hunger...the gnawing pang in her abdomen that made her feel nauseous.

And that was what had brought her to the solitaire comforts of the sauna...She hadn't even bothered using a towel because she was so tense she needed to sweat it out with as little in the way as possible. She had paid the manager to keep prospective clients out because she needed this time to herself... so here she was, stretched out on the long bench with her eyes closed... and she soaked up the steam and the quiet as she tried to clear her mind of _him..._ she didn't have a prayer of making that happen...Especially when the door she thought was locked was suddenly being pried open and he was standing right in front of her. She would have moved to cover herself except he then held up the key and returned it to it's locked position.

"Nice try sweetheart...I'm just better at the game."

"How did you find me...are you following me now?"

"Last time I checked, you didn't own this place...maybe I just wanted to have a little steam treatment myself."

"That's bullshit and you know it...you're keeping tabs on me aren't you?"

"What if I am...what are _you_ going to do about it...you kind of like it don't you...It turns you on knowing that I know exactly how to find you and where...It turns you on because you know damn well that when I find you, I'm going to fuck you again... so good that you beg me to keep doing it...you've never had sex this earth shattering good have you?"

Her eyes told more then her words ever could...and her hesitation was just enough for him to capture her blazed lips in his own...driving his tongue inside as he clung to her kisses with ravenous need.

"I like you this way...I like you naked...you're so hot Nora...If I touch you right now, I bet you'd be so raw. "

"R.J. please, " she said, as she looked up into eyes. "Please just...just leave."

"I can't...you can't really expect me to walk away from you when you're exposed this way...you can't expect me not to fill you up first."

"What if it's what I want?"

"It's not what you want Nora...we both know it...if it was what you wanted, you wouldn't be this wet," he said.

_Damn it, her body was betraying her, she thought. He hadn't even really touched her, and she was already Cumming on the bench. Why did he do this to her? Why did she have to crave him so much? _

"It's okay...you don't have to be ashamed...there's nothing to be ashamed of...you're soaking wet baby...I know what you need...I always did and I always will...you know that don't you?"

_That was the problem, she thought...he could satisfy her in a way that no one else could_. She knew she should do the smart thing and walk away...except she seemed to be glued to the bench as his callused fingers sunk into her now saturated hole...and she saw the smile pass his lips as he felt the swelling of her clit...

"I think that answers my question," he said, as he dragged her off the bench. Her bare torso was pressed against the wall as her hands lifted above her head. R.J. was enfolding his arms tightly around her waist as he reached into the bag on the floor. She was already shuddering against him as he turned on the massager. "You need to let go of all that tension...I'm going to give it to you...just relax baby...I'll do all the work."

He rubbed the massager against her protruding clit until her muscles began to constrict and she felt the desire so deep inside her that she was spilling out onto hand..."go easy there baby...I want to be inside you when you Cum..."

She was whimpering his name in extreme passion as he gave her an experience she never had before...as he pushed the compact massager into her hole and it rubbed against her g spot, he stabbed his erect member into her ass so hard that she was shaking from the double penetration. "Oh...my...God,..." she moaned as he lifted her completely into his arms. Her legs were wrapped around his waist as her head found the place on his shoulder she was so accustomed to...

"Don't stop," she begged him...please God, don't stop."

Sweat dripped down her face as he lifted her hair and sucked on her neck as he continued to pierce her aching walls with his shaft...It wasn't until much later when she was lying on the floor, still throbbing when he pulled the massager out of her pussy.

"You need to be cooled down baby...look at how sweaty you are," he joked.

She couldn't catch her breath as she lie on her back and wiped the sweat from her eyes. "That's your fault," she snapped.

"Hey don't bite _my_ head off..._you're_ the one who liked it so much we had to keep doing it."

"Well it's over now," she stated, as she tried to pull herself up. "I'm...I'm leaving now."

_She should have known better...she had said that so many times before and never seemed to follow through. _

She should have taken the stairs...if she had taken the stairs, she wouldn't have been trapped in a stalled elevator with her lover. She was wearing a skimpy bikini and she was still burning up. R.J. was soon on his knees, pulling her bikini bottoms until they fell to the floor. He took an ice cube out of his drink and began to rub it against her abdomen. As he moved the cube around her body, he managed to unsnap her top and she was now naked in his arms again.

"R.J...R.J. stop," she tried to say._ She wasn't convincing._

"Is that really what you want," he asked, as their lips lingered inches apart.

"Yes...Yes, it is, " she lied.

His mouth found hers anyways and their tongues were soon dancing as their kisses grew hot and blistering against the elevator door. She rose higher in his arms until he was cupping her bare ass and he gave it a swat as she pulled on his swim trunks. They were now naked as her legs draped down his torso and he took another ice cube out of the cup and pushed it into her pussy. She shivered against him. "That's so cold," she said.

"You need to be cooled down baby...you're much too hot."

She didn't need to say another word...her hand reached for an ice cube and she was pushing it into his penis. "So cold," he said, echoing her words.

"This will be REALLY cold," she stated, as she slipped down his legs and began to push her tongue inside as she pushed down on his balls. "OH SHIT," he screamed. Her wet lips were sucking his bulging erection as she massaged his sac with her nimble fingers...and he was Cumming so hard in her mouth. He could no longer take the intensity of his desire, so he tugged her up off the ground and hoisted her against the wall..."You need to be punished for being such a bad girl," he stated.

She didn't have time to respond because he was taking her against the wall in the next second...Her eyes were glazed over in passion as she screamed for him...and his thick shaft was ramming in and out of her with such rigid speed that she was digging her nails into his back as he fucked her again and again. When the elevator doors finally opened, he was still so deep inside her that she barely noticed. Mercifully there was no one there to catch their illicit tryst, and he picked up their clothes and carried her into an empty bathroom.

"I need to have you again," he whispered. He didn't give her a chance to say no...he was taking her on the toilet as they exploded inside each other. He took her over and over as they buried their orgasms in each other's shoulders. They had sex until she fell asleep against him. He wrapped her in her shirt and carried her to his car. He would take every opportunity to spend the night with her.

She woke up early the next morning in his bed...and her surprise was soon overshadowed by the lazy way they made love again and again. When she finally managed to pull herself away, she went into the bathroom to compose herself. She sat against the door and put her head in her lap and cried.

_"I need to find a way to say goodbye to him," she told herself_. She knew that the longer she continued to have sex with him, the deeper she dug herself into his world...and that was a mistake...She craved him intensely but she had to give him up...she had to. There was no other choice.

She waited until she was fully able to stand and then she dressed and walked to the door. He pulled her into another soul searing kiss against the door but she managed to pull herself away this time...her knees were weak and her heart was full but she still said goodbye...she needed to get home to her family...she needed to concentrate on something she could still do something about.

When her daughter was safely away at school, and she was sure that Shaun was far enough away, she turned on her laptop. It was time to research a good place to live...a place that had doctors who specialized in stroke victims. The sooner she got out of town the better...she only hoped it wasn't too late.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

_Her chest rose vigorously as she took in a ragged breath...her eyes showing the longing her words couldn't express. The low, guttural sound of her pleasure was heard in the empty courtroom as she locked her long legs around his torso and tried to focus on breathing. His rough but brilliant fingers were parting her nether lips as he expertly slid two inside as he toyed with her tight hole. _

_"Oh God," she wheezed against his chest, as he crushed her against him on the table. "Oh SHIT...Shit, that feels good," she cried, as pleasure ripped through her body and erased all doubts. _

_Her nails dug into the taut muscles in his back as her own body trembled at the turbulent way his rigid member pierced her insides. She was clutching his shoulders to steady her rapid heartbeat as he enfolded her completely in his arms. He heard the raspy sound of her breath catching in her throat as he kissed her hair. "You taste like flowers," he said, as he breathed in the scent of her shampoo. "I love the way you smell. I love how you taste even more." _

_She tasted his moist lips as they covered her own and she felt the heat of them as he slid his tongue inside her mouth. He was grinding his hips against her as he dominated her slick folds with his swelling shaft and his mouth ravaged her. He continued to rock her as he slid in and out of her with rapid urgency...bringing them both over the edge as the teetered between insanity and pleasure...emptying everything they had inside each other as they exploded in ecstasy. _

She shot up from the bed in the dark and turned on the light. She was shaking from the dream and drenched it sweat. She quietly walked to the bathroom and sat on the toilet, burying her head in her hands. It was then that she realized that her panties were saturated in Cum. She was so turned on by the dream that she was wet.

"Not again," she said. Slipping off her nightgown, she turned on the cold water. As she stood under the faucet, she gently rubbed her slit as she tried to stop the cum from continuing. She finally gave up the fight and walked to her bed and picked up the phone. "I need you," was all she said. She wasn't strong enough to fight her addiction tonight. She needed to feel him one more time.

In R.J.'s hotel room, he put down the phone... he had just had the same dream and had been fighting the urge to call her when he couldn't ease his raging hard-on. He was as addicted to her as she was to him... The difference being that he _liked_ being addicted to her...He was determined to have sex with her as often as possible. He was determined not to lose her again.

She felt like a real live drug addict as she nervously paced the floors waiting for her next fix... and she hated herself for it...hated the fact that she couldn't get him out of her blood...that even as she slept, his touch had crept into her dreams and made her wet. She didn't want to need him like this...didn't want to think about him at all...she wished there was a rehab she could go to so she could purge her mind of the memories...memories of his skin on her skin...his lips on hers...memories of the pleasure she felt being inside him. And that was what she hated the most...the fact that she enjoyed having sex with him so much. _What kind of person did that make her? She was hopeless...certainly beyond help now. _

She saw his car pull up and stepped outside after turning on the baby monitor that she had put in her daughters room tonight so she could hear her if she stirred... And then she grabbed his hand and led him towards the Jacuzzi. He watched her walk naked into the water and proceeded to do the same... She put her finger to his lips, letting him know they could make no sounds. He responded by covering her lips in deep, smoldering kisses that left her breathless and panting.

He lifted her hair and began to suck on her neck...that secret place he knew of that made her lose her focus...he could see the desired effect as she closed her eyes and sunk into his chest. As he tugged her onto his lap, he whispered into her ear as he nibbled on it. "You're going to be unbelievably happy tonight," he stated. She couldn't ask him what he meant and she didn't need to. She was sitting in his lap in a position where the jets were flowing into her lower anatomy and making her tremble. R.J held her there so she could feel the double penetration as he sunk his cock all the way into her ass. She had to plunge her tongue into his mouth and kiss him so deep there was no room to think in order to keep from screaming in extreme ecstasy...as he plunged in and out of her as she curled her body around him, she felt the stress melt away...R.J. picked her up a little while later and carried her into the house quietly...they made love in her bed until the sun rose...and then he snuck out the window so her husband and daughter wouldn't find him in her arms. She felt guilty for asking him to stay with her husband and daughter so close by but she had been weak...and she had been unable to say no to his seduction...

She closed her eyes for a couple of minutes, allowing herself to bask in the memory of his lovemaking...and before long it was time for her daughter to wake up. It was taking much longer to find a place to live then she intended. She was beginning to get very worried. If she didn't find a place to move soon, then she was going to just randomly choose...she couldn't stay here much longer...she was starting to get careless...and that wasn't good...careless meant mistakes and mistakes meant discovery...she couldn't break Shaun's heart any more then she already had...She did love him very much..._But she loved R.J. too. More then she wished she did. _

He walked into her office one day under the guise of needing to talk to her about a legal matter...she took him into the conference room.

"What can I do for you Mr. Gannon," she asked him casually?

"Me...you can do me," he said, as he lifted her onto the conference table.

She sighed against his kisses as he hiked up her skirt. "R.J. ...R.J. we talked about this...we have to stop doing this..."

"Actually.._.you_ talked...me, I never agreed to anything."

His hand was down her panties now...he was squeezing her pussy...tickling her until she couldn't breathe because his fingers were inside her. "R.J., " She panted. "R.J. , this is so wrong," she said.

"What's wrong is that you're not naked yet. Here let me help you."

"You're so greedy," she stated.

"I'm just really, really hungry," he responded.

She Stood up and locked the door...shut the light off and flipped the sound off. "You'll have to make love to me in the dark then," she said.

"Fine with me," he stated. "Now get naked. I want to be inside you NOW."

"You greedy man," she said.

"Your damn right I'm greedy with YOU," he agreed, as he pulled her into a hungry kiss. "No man will ever belong to you but me, Nora...you're _mine_...and you know it don't you?"

She laid down on the conference table as she looked into his eyes. "I know it R.J. We can't be together but I know it...I will always be yours.._._maybe I always have been."

"I love you Nora," he stated, as he buried himself inside her. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she sunk into his desire.

She wished she could give him what he wanted most but she couldn't. He was just making it harder for her to leave...She was still going to leave...

Maybe not today...

Even as he made love to her again, she cried...she cried because she could never be that woman for him...she had already become someone's wife. If he had come along just one promise sooner then maybe things would be different...but they weren't...and she would have to give him up one day...

Maybe not today.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

She received an urgent telegram requesting her presence at a private party in one of the fanciest hotels in town. She should have tossed the telegram along with the key. She didn't toss either. She read the simple note and closed up her office. She was now standing in front of a mirror in a lingerie store...examining the sheer material of the barely there undergarment set.

"That's all wrong," he said, as he walked into the dressing room and shut the door.

She turned at the sound of his voice, not bothering to hide the profound fire that gleamed from her eyes. "What's the matter...you don't like how it looks," she asked with a hint of disappointment? _Despite her better judgment, she found herself wanting to impress him...wanting to leave him as breathless as he always left her. _

He looked her directly in the eyes...eyes that were boring into him with a desperate hunger...a hunger he would more then satisfy soon enough. He traced his finger down her thigh as he watched her eyes struggle to focus..._she was already his now...she was faltering from desire_. With his free hand, he clutched her around her waist and dragged her roughly against him.

"The problem is that you still cover too much. How about this," he said, as he held up another piece. It was completely see through and R.J. couldn't help the lump that formed in his throat any more then he could stop the firm bulge that formed in his pants. _He wanted her madly...and he would have her. _

"My little sex kitten," he said, as he captured her mouth in his, saturating her with deep, blistering kisses. "I'm buying that one. You make me so damn hard it's crazy."

His breath was on her neck as she slung her bare leg over his and he trapped her against the door. "Make me purr," she said, breathless. As he thrust her demandingly against the wall, she slid her hand into his pants and closed it around his penis. She smiled satisfactorily as she nipped it with her fingertips until she heard him moaning into her torso. He raised her now bare ass into his hands as she folded her arms around his neck.

"How do you like your appetizer," he asked her, as he dug into her soaked hole. Her head was buried in his neck as he held her against him and made her walls tighten in desire as he continued to grind against her g spot. When she trembled against his shaft, he knew he was rocking her world.

"I've never tasted anything so sweet," she said.

"Wait till you taste the main course," he said.

She dug her nails into his skin as she struggled to hold on to her sanity...and as he continued to pierce her walls with rigorous intensity, she lost the battle. She was surrendering to the heated luxury of being buried so deep inside him that she didn't know where he ended and she began...she was surrendering to the pleasure of knowing she was wanted like no one had ever wanted her before...she knew it was wrong but her heart and her mind were in conflict...and as she slipped inside him again and again, she knew that her heart was winning the battle...at least for today. Today she was powerless to say no to him.

++++

He gently slid a slender digit up and down her silky legs as they latched around his lower torso. She was tangled beneath his taut form on the spacious bed as their clothes lie in a puddle on the floor. Her naked breasts were molding into his chest as her fingers raked through his long hair. He smiled at the tender throbbing of her nipples as he kneaded and stroked her aching breasts...his fingers skimming over her warm, tingling flesh until she reached heightened arousal...

"Is this what you want baby," he asked, as he grazed his tongue over her firm breast. He licked across her sensitive flesh until he could capture one beast in his greedy mouth...and he gnawed at her nipple as he sucked. Her chest was now heaving almost violently as she tried to draw a breath...the air in her lungs coming out in a pant as desire overflowed her and he captured the next breast in his mouth. She couldn't manage to put two words together, so he took that as her answer...

"Such raw desire," he said, as he chafed his tongue down her sensitive flesh. He was licking down her torso as his fingers were tracing circles across her abdomen. "When I'm through with you, you're going to be burned so deep inside me that you won't ever be able to forget," he whispered, as he turned the licking into sucking. Her eyes were glazed over with a carnality she didn't quite recognize...Her mouth trembled with a low, guttural cry that conveyed the deep, animal lust that her body craved...

"Slow down tiger," he said, as he pinched the tiny pink buds of her entrance...She was instantly erupting onto his finger. He gave her a delighted grin as he looked at the liquid now permeating his hand. "I think someone has a very ravenous appetite. Don't worry...you'll get your fill...but first I want to touch you...all of you."

"I need you," she managed to say, as her pussy began to throb. He sunk two of his calloused fingers into her saturated channel and pushed them sharply against her G-spot. "Look at how inflamed you are baby," he said, as he rubbed her glistening cleft. "So wet and hard."

"Help me," she cried, as she tugged him against her. He looked into her eyes and kissed her roughly. "What do you need help with sweetie?"

"I need to feel you," she panted, as she shifted her hips and opened herself up for him. "I'm Cumming so hard...please R.J. Please help me release...I need you so badly."

"That's my girl," he said, as he spooned her in his arms and plunged his bulging shaft into her with a renewed and rapid urgency. She was whimpering his name in pleasure as he continued to slide in and out of her and she tensed around him.

It wasn't until hours later that she could regain her composure and pull herself out of him...he had filled her so completely that she was snuggled against his chest, shaking from extreme desire and sobbing from the pain of knowing they could never be together. She allowed him to make love to her for the rest of the day. She would walk away tomorrow...today she needed to be inside him as he filled her with overwhelming desire. She needed all of him. Tomorrow she could walk away...today she would love him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Things got more complicated now that it was spring break and her daughter was visiting her grandparents in Chicago... her resolve to stay away from him had faltered with no one there to keep her from staying out all night. Her husband was not improving so she had hired a live in nurse who never asked any questions as she came and went. She was just worn out from taking care of him for so many years and seeing no improvement...she needed a break from the man who didn't seem to care if she was there or not. She still planned on finding a doctor out of town who could specialize in his care and had even asked the nurse if she knew anyone...but so far there had been no leads and she was getting a headache from all the research she had done...she simply needed a week where she could de stress so she would be more able to take care of her daughter when she came home. She missed her little girl but she was happy that her parents were spending some time with her...she needed that.

It was now two days later, and she rolled over in bed, expecting the cramped confines of her lonely bed...and when she felt her body rub against something hard, she realized she was once again in his bed. He was drawing her into his arms, enticing her back inside him as they said 'good morning' by having sex. She then lay beside him beneath the tangled sheets and sighed...the last few days had been a blur...She was pretty sure she had spent all hors with him...and yet... she had spent so long dreaming about him that it could have been yet another erotic fantasy...those just wouldn't leave her alone these days...

"Did we really just...I mean have I really been here in your bed for..."

"Two days...we've been having sex here in my bed for the last two days...am I going to have to remind you how it feels? You didn't forget now did you," he asked her, with a hint of hurt in his voice?

"I could never forget that R.J. ...It's just that...well..."

She turned away from him, a little embarrassed by the whole thing...He only held her hair up so he could indulge himself in the pleasure of her neck. She let out a low, guttural cry as his lips closed down on the one place he knew would drive her mad...he was consuming her with savage, blistering kisses until she was sinking against his chest.

"Just how permeating were your dreams baby?"

His fingers were sliding across her abdomen in a circular motion as he hugged her still naked body to his. She couldn't find her voice when he was doing this to her...when his hands were all over her bare skin and his lips were on hers...pulling her in...enticing her with skillful seduction...and then he was hoisting her up in his arms as he stood up from the bed, letting the sheet fall as he carried her down the hall. She was clinging to him as he set her down on the kitchen table with a deep, erotic kiss.

"I'm going to show you how much better reality can be...and you'll remember this for the rest of your life Nora...trust me."

She was already wet and throbbing when he went to the refrigerator. "What are you doing," she asked him?

"Getting us a little snack," he joked. He came back with strawberries and whipped cream. He leaned over the counter as he spread her legs open. "This might be a little cold," he stated, as he spread the whipped cream onto her cleft. Licking a strawberry, he then proceeded to push it inside her. He was thrusting it in deep inside her when he joined her on the counter. She smiled when he stuck his head between her legs and began to lick up the whipped cream. "I'm famished," he said, as he then pushed his tongue into her and pierced her walls as he ate up the strawberry mixed with her sweet juices. She was moaning his name as he continued to push into her...Cumming so hard that he knew she was his completely.

"Your turn," he said, as he handed her the whipped cream and strawberries. She would enjoy this immensely, she thought, as she spread the whipped cream over his penis and inserted the strawberry. The minute her mouth closed around his bulging erection and licked him clean of the whipped cream, he was screaming her name...her tongue was swimming inside him licking up the strawberry and tasting his semen, when he slammed her onto the counter and drew her into one soul searing kiss after another. "I need you," they said in unison. Not another word was said, as R.J. demanded release with his rigid member. As he thrust himself into her with blistering speed, she tensed around him and they exploded into ecstasy on the counter...with each thrust getting hotter and deeper. They had sex all over the kitchen.

She watched him as he lifted weights the next day. She wasn't much for exercise herself but she loved to watch him work out. He was so sexy when he showed off those muscles. When he was preoccupied, she went into the bathroom and changed. She came out wearing a sports bra and very tight shorts...exercise clothes...the ones she had secretly packed in case she was turned on...and she was...very turned on. She stood in front of him as he lifted the weights.

"I think you need someone to spot you," she stated. Her hand was on his knee as she looked at him. He nearly dropped the weight when he saw what she was wearing.

"You want to spot me Nora," he asked, in a suggestive tone?

"I do...very much...will you teach me how to spot?"

He replaced the weights and then reached for her hand...tugging her down on the weight bench with him. "You can spot _this_," he said, as he lowered his lips to hers. _Who needed weight lifting when he would get more of a workout having sex with her? _

"R.J., she panted against his neck, as he slipped his hand down her tight little shorts. She was struggling to breath as he slid the shorts down her legs and removed her thin panties. He shifted his hips and she was then lying beneath him. His finger traced her glistening clit as she yanked his own shorts from his body. Within seconds, all their clothes were in a pile on the floor and they were naked and sweaty on the weight bench. There would be no foreplay today...just raw, heated sex. He could tell by the way her body quaked when he touched her that all she needed was to be loved today...he would make sure she was. He would love her hard and dirty today.

As he kept her pinned beneath him.. still shuddering... he rammed his full length into her warm, wetness...stabbing against her G spot repeatedly as he emptied all of himself inside her until she was Cumming on his dick... "Don't stop," she begged him...and he had no intention of that. He would remind her of this day if she ever tried to leave him again. They had the most intense sex of their lives in that exercise room.

She was lying on a lawn chair as he rubbed her feet. She knew where this was heading and should have stopped it but she didn't. He massaged up her body until she was naked in his arms. They couldn't seem to be around each other without falling into sex. She knew it was wrong but her body craved him. She would let him seduce her once more. She would make love to him on that lawn chair and throughout the back yard until they were both exhausted...she would say she was leaving and he would talk her into staying...she would wake up naked in his arms the next day and it would start all over...

They would spend hours having hot, blistering sex...she would forget every reason it was wrong...she would forget everything but him...

_She needed to break away from him...and fast...But how did you quit your addiction when you craved the feeling of the drug more then breathing...she was addicted to him in the worst way...She didn't know how to tell him no...how would she ever quit him now? _


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

She was leaning against the railing of the balcony as he hugged her tightly against him. Her eyes were flaming with an unrestrained intensity he hadn't seen since the first time they made love...and he could tell by the way she was whimpering against him...the desire that was evident in her pleading...she was already half way his now...she was fighting the intense craving she always seemed to give in to eventually...someday she would stop fighting what was in her blood_...he_ was in her blood..._he had burned himself so completely inside her that she would never be able to forget what he was doing to her heart...and her body..._

He used one hand to thrust the vibrating butt plug into her anus as he listened to her amorous begging...the intensity of her cries as she called out his name in pleasure. He was inside her now...steadying her as she felt the shivers run down her spine. He was cradling her limp body in his arms as he continued to penetrate her with his rock hard shaft. When he finished making love to her against the railing, he carried her to the lounge chair and made love to her again...and again...and again...

He stayed inside her, rocking her to the core...holding her close...bringing her over the edge of ecstasy. She was sprawled out against him as she slept and he was the happiest man in the world...he carried her inside and put her to bed...He moved her head so it rested on his chest...and he fell asleep with her nestled in his arms...He would never love another woman like he loved her...He had to find a way to keep her with him.

Her office had become a sanctuary ever since she had moved it from her home...it gave her the peace she needed to think...nowadays she hadn't been doing a whole lot of thinking and it was costing her. She was torn between two men and she felt guilty for the way she handled it...Shaun needed her more then ever now...and_ she_ needed R.J. _How did that make any sense? _

She was feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders when she pulled out a picture of Shaun and her on their wedding day. How she had loved that man. She still did, even now. She was longing for the way things used to be between them...back when he was not pushing her away...back when he could look at her and love her.

_"You're so beautiful Sparky," he would say, as he brushed the strand of hair from her face. _

_She would look at him and tell him that he was blind...How could someone be beautiful first thing in the morning? Except she was...to him, she was. _

_He would kiss the sleep from her eyes and they would spend the morning making love...and she was happy...she was happier then she had ever been as his wife..._

She ran her finger across his face on the picture as a tear fell on the glass. "I miss you Shaun...I'm so sorry." And she was...she was sorry for doing the one thing she swore she would never do again...she was sorry for hurting him...for cheating on him...and for being unable to stop doing it...but she wasn't sorry for loving R.J...because as much as she loved her husband, she loved her lover too...if she didn't love him then she could walk away like she kept promising she would...the trouble was that she could never regret him...she could never regret falling in love with him...She had never felt so alive...he made her feel like the most desirable woman in the world... she was not merely existing...she was full of energy and fire.

_He had made her embrace her wild side...and she couldn't regret that...she couldn't regret him. _

She had just put the picture down when she felt the heat rush through her veins..."_Oh God_," she gasped, when she felt the familiar touch of his tongue. R.J. had snuck into her office and climbed under her desk...and somehow managed to pull her panties off without her noticing...and now he was eating her out under the desk. She had been so distracted with her thoughts that she hadn't been paying attention...now he was seducing her in broad daylight. Trying to steady herself, she let a hand slip down the chair and close around what she knew was his penis...as she suspected, he was naked...she slid down in her chair slightly and began to rub him...feeling the stiffness immediately. "I think someone wants to play," she whispered. "You are awfully hard."

"How can anyone think in here with you touching me like that..."

"You started it," she said.

He poked his head up through the chair and began to nibble on her clit. She put a hand over her mouth to keep from screaming. "Oh no," she said, as the warmth he was creating in her lower anatomy made her tremble. She rose from the chair and walked over to the door... she turned the lock and closed the blinds. "ten minutes big guy...then I need to work."

"It will be the most blistering ten minutes of your life," he said, as he cleared her desk away. In the next second, he was shoving her onto the empty desk as he grinded into her soaking hole. He didn't bother undressing her...he simply hiked up her skirt as he plunged in and out of her...she gripped his shoulders for balance as he sent shivers up and down her body as the loving grew more intense. After having sex on the desk, she took him to the bathroom and they did it on the toilet. It was much longer then ten minutes. She couldn't get enough of his unbridled passion for her...she craved his body like nothing in the entire world...


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

He watched her from across the bar as she leaned over the pool table. Every curve of her body was visible as she focused on the task at hand and he didn't need to be standing behind her to be intoxicated by her smell...she was the most exhilarating woman he had ever met...he could cast a glance her way and she wouldn't even know he was lost in the wonder of her innate beauty, her genuine goodness, and the way her humility affected him...she had no idea that every time she moved, she set off a wildfire in his body...he had never wanted anyone more...

He poured someone a glass of something he wasn't paying attention to as he watched her...she had taken off her simple shawl and placed it on the table. Now she was standing there in a very short black dress that enhanced every single one of the curves that made her body so unbelievably perfect...He felt like the room just got at least a hundred degrees warmer...he was suddenly feeling the perspiration rise and he had to take a towel off the bar to cool off. She was now leaning forward with her elbows pressed against the table...tilting her head to the side as she flipped her hair to the other side. He walked out from behind the bar without a word...It wasn't until his breath was on her neck and his hands were locked around her waist that she realized what she had done.

"Was I making you all hot and bothered Mr. Gannon?"

She turned her head so she was looking directly at him...that alluring look in her eyes, the timid way she batted her eyelashes, the parting of her lips, the way she raised one eyebrow at him...all of it was having the desired effect on his senses...he was completely turned on by her stimulation...even if she didn't know she was doing it. He allowed his hand to lie on hers as he pretended to help her with the pool stick. "You have the most enticing body I have ever seen...you can't be that immune to what you are doing to every man in this room?"

"I'm only interested in what I'm doing to you," she stated? She smiled at him shyly as she brushed her leg against his. He couldn't help but notice that het eyes were sparkling as she maintained eye contact. She wasn't even trying and she was an expert at the game...She was captivating his attention. "You want to know what you do to me...I'll tell you what you do to me...no better yet, I'll show you."

He guided her free hand to the crotch of his pants...she rubbed him through the material discreetly... "Now that might be a problem indeed...what are you going to do with all these customers when you're..." She leaned into his ear and nibbled on it as she whispered..."hard as a rock...would you like some help with that?"

She was now so close to him that he could see down her dress...he thought he would go insane from wanting her this bad... "What I want is to show you what happens to naughty girls who tempt me with their tantalizing body."

"Am I tempting you now," she asked, as she moved her lips closer to his. She grazed his mouth with the brush of her lips but they didn't kiss...they simply teased each other with the promise of one. He felt a magnetic pull to her as he looked into her eyes. "You are irresistible...and when you look at me with those big brown eyes...damn it you are more then tempting me...you are seducing me...wait here...and don't you dare move that sexy body...I have to have you...right here, right now."

She was licking her lips with her tongue now and he was staring at her lips..._she was sensational...in and out of bed_. He pressed a finger to her lips and she drew it into her mouth, sucking it with her moist lips. "You are a very bad girl tonight," he said.

"How bad," she challenged?

"Bad enough to be punished," he responded, as he walked away. She saw him turn back and give her the wink and she felt the heat rush through her at full force. _What had gotten into her,_" she wondered? She hadn't flirted with a guy in so long she didn't think she would still be good at it...obviously he had taken the bait. R.J. finished emptying the bar of all it's patrons...promising to comp a meal for the inconvenience the next time they were here...and as he walked back to join her, he began to strip off his clothes...he stopped dead in his tracks when he got to the bar. She was standing on top with the beer nozzle in her hand...and she was completely naked.

"You sure as hell better know CPR," he joked. "You take my breath away."

"I think someone wants to see me dance, don't they?"

"Is this a private party?"

"It's for your eyes only Mr. Gannon."

"Good, then you won't mind if I take pictures," he said.

"As long as they remain in your custody you can take as many pictures as you want...if they get leaked though...well lets just say I'll have to kill you."

"Lets have my lap dance now," he said.

"I can't give you a lap dance with you so far away...come and get me," she stated, as she squirted him with beer.

"Oh now you are going to get it," he said, as he grabbed another nozzle and they started to have a beer fight until they both started laughing. He lifted himself onto the bar and sat back as she pulled the remaining item of clothing from him...his tie...and bit down on it with her teeth...she roped it around his neck as she pulled him closer...then she was straddling him as she moved her body alluringly in his lap...he had never had a lap dance before...let alone one that took place on the top of his bar...but she was damn good at what she was doing...he couldn't peel his eyes away from her as she moved against him...touching him in all the right places...places only she had ever touched...

He took hold of her arm as he pulled her completely into his lap...his fingers trailing into those places that made her giggle...and then he crushed his lips against hers...plunging his tongue inside as he drank her in..."Are you going to punish me now," she stated sarcastically?

"Oh yes...you'll get it hard now," he said, and tried not to laugh. She was buried underneath his sweaty chest as her own began to heave with the palpitations from her rapid heartbeat and inability to catch a breath. "Maybe I'm the one who needs to do CPR...you sound like you can't breathe."

"I think you need to do mouth to mouth," she stated.

"I think you need more then that...I think you need a little simulation down there," he said.

"Oh I think so," she said in agreement and he placed blistering kisses upon her wet hole. His tongue began to suck on the pink buds as she called out his name. He reached for the beer nozzle and aimed it at her. She shivered as he soaked her clit with beer and then began to suck from her...eating her out until she was Cumming down his throat. She shifted in his arms and he gave her bare ass a light swat. "You naughty girl," he stated, as she begged him to please her. He made her wait for release as he 'punished' her with a drawn out sexual experience...he loved her slow as she was begging him to take her _now_. By the time she felt his hard member down her pussy, she had been touched and caressed in every area of her body...and she was so wet and raw that she was drawing him in so far that they both felt the shivers rock them to the core. She held on to him for dear life as he made love to her...and when they had finished having sex on the bar, he carried her to the pool table and lay her on her back...

"You going to bank the eight," she joked, as she tugged him onto the table wit her?

"I think I've already banked the eight...I've got you," he stated, kissing her back.

"Well then it's my turn to bag me some balls," she said, as she closed her mouth over his erect shaft and massaged his sac with her fingers. She was licking and sucking as she took him completely in her mouth...and he was moaning against her as he emptied all he had down her throat...When she released him from her mouth, he was hauling her against him as he rammed his still hard erection into her with blistering speed. She was in the throes of complete ecstasy as she took him deeper and deeper inside her... as she experienced an intense orgasm ripping through her as they came together and exploded inside each other...her head resting on his chest as she tried to calm her rapid heartbeat.

"I've never played pool like this," he joked.

"You've never played with me," she responded.

"I want to do a hell of a lot more then play with you," he said, as he looked at her.

"I know...but for now it's the only thing I can offer...take it or leave it."

She was pulling herself off the table when he pulled her back. "Oh no you don't...you're not going to avoid this...we both know what's happening here...It's getting serious."

"It can't be anything more then what it is...I can't afford the ramifications."

She pulled herself off the pool table after giving him one more passionate kiss...R.J. watched her leave and sighed. Why had he brought it up in the first place? He had never asked her for a commitment...he wasn't going to get one if he did...and if he was honest with himself, he couldn't really blame her. His life wasn't the kind of life for children...she had a daughter to think about...he had to find a way to be a part of her life without asking her to change what she couldn't change...she had never asked for it with him.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

His arms were folded around her waist as their bare legs wound together on the hammock. She relaxed her head against his as her red and swollen breasts rubbed against his taut chest...his fingers gently kneading the aching sensitivity from her raw need. Her chest churned in turbulent rhythm as her breath became shallow and she felt waves of electricity shoot through her.

"Please," she panted against him. "Please help me."

He didn't need the words to know that what she needed help with was release...She was so raw and tender that when he pushed himself inside her, she was already tensing around him...she dug her nails into his back as an intense orgasm tore through her body. The way she was clinging to him as he deepened the sex, told him she wanted more...much more.

"Where do you want it," he asked her, as he pulled her into one erotic kiss after another? He wanted to hold this woman forever...but more then anything, he wanted her to be as rocked by their lovemaking as he was... He needed her to miss him when they were away from each other...for her to dream of their union when she slept...for him to be so burned into her body that she couldn't think straight until she had him...he wanted her to want him like this forever.

Her eyes glazed over with a fiery passion as she slid down his body...And her hands caressed his bare skin until she reached the height of his desire. "In my mouth," she stated. "I want you to stick it in my mouth so I can taste how bad you still want me."

_Did she know how completely turned on he was every time she talked dirty to him? She was a good woman...but he loved those moments when she turned herself into his naughty girl...just for him. _

He gave her a wicked smile as he sent his bulging member down her throat...thrust it completely into her mouth until his semen was pouring down her throat. "SHIT," she screamed, when she finally released her mouth. "Shit, you are so hard... you must really want me."

"Damn straight I want you. Any man with a pulse would want you," he said.

"Prove it," she stated. "Prove it and fuck my breasts."

"Feeling a little adventurous are we," he stated, as he pulled her tight against him. "I just want you all over me," she replied. Her breasts were so hard that he now understood why she wanted them to be touched that way. She was burning from desire as his shaft slipped into the valley between her breasts...and he continued to plunge in and out with rapid urgency. She was throbbing underneath him as she whimpered her pleasure into his shoulder...and as the hammock rocked, he moved his own throbbing member into her dripping hole...and he rode her until she exploded inside him in complete bliss, her head now resting on his naked chest as he cradled her.

"I love you Nora," he whispered into her ear.

She was half asleep from a sex induced haze but he was the happiest he had ever been when she whispered it back. Knowing he had her love changed everything for him.

He was stretched out on his back on top of the sleeping bag in the tent and she was sprawled out on his chest as she took control. She had slipped a frozen grape into her mouth and held it with her teeth. This time_ he_ was the one who felt shivers run down his spine as she glided it down his neck and across his chest and up to his moist lips...she used her tongue to push it into his mouth and their lips connected in a needy kiss as he devoured the grape. She was sliding her fingers up and down the inside of his arms as the kiss continued.

"Who are you and what have you done with my woman," he joked, as she resumed the 'girl on top' position that drove him mad with desire. She looked into his eyes as she held the scarf in her teeth. "Your woman wants to be in control," she said, as she casually used the scarf to tie his hands behind his back. He smiled at her with that unrestrained passion shining in his eyes. "I want you to tell me why you want me so bad," she asked him?

"Honey, that's going to take all night," he returned.

"Then start with something simple...tell me where you want my mouth?

"I want your mouth all over me," he said.

"And my hands?"

"On my ass," he stated.

"Like this," she asked, as she squeezed his ass cheeks together. "How does that feel baby...you like when I do this?"

She was stimulating his senses as her protruding clit rubbed against his shaft with tortuous need...he was begging for her to let him release except she pulled back and reached for something in the bag. "Nora for heavens sake...can't that wait," he said. She watched as he shook with quivering desire and smiled at him.

"Oh my poor baby...so hard...don't you worry...this is going to make the experience so much more intense."

She took out a bag of ginger and began to rub it delicately on his most sensitive areas...she then took her fingers and made a V shape as she pressed down on his erect penis..."FUCK," he began to scream. "Oh lord that feels good...so good."

His ability to think rationally was gone the moment her hands touched him...she was driving him insane with desire. "You got something you want to say to me," she asked him playfully?"

"You've had your fun...would you PLEASE stop torturing me with desire and let me Cum...please let me release," he begged.

"Well since you asked so nicely," she said..."But there's one condition...you're going to be blindfolded while I do all the work."

"I want to look at you baby..."

"There's plenty of time for that...I want to rock your world."

He didn't have a chance to tell her that she already did because the moment the blindfold was placed over his eyes, she was straddling his hips as she moved into the space against his chest where only she belonged. She could feel his whole body tense as she plunged her wet hole into him. He clung to her as she pushed herself deeper inside him...causing him to lose his breath momentarily. He didn't know when she had suddenly become this seductress but he liked it...she was innately gifted at pleasing him...he was rubbing against her g spot as she took him deeper and harder...in the cramped spaces of the sleeping bag, they had intense, earth shattering sex...and when she removed his restraints, he flipped her on her back and began to tickle her.

"Now it's _your_ turn," he said.

"Good," she responded, kissing him. "I always liked your 'punishments."

"You'll like this one even more," he stated.

He was right...he punished her all night with savage sex that left her trembling in his arms. When morning came, she slipped out of his embrace and walked to the car. She needed to get home to her husband and daughter.

He caught her just as she was leaving and tugged her into an empty phone booth. She lifted her hands above her head as he tugged off her skirt. "We don't have much time," she stated.

"We have time for this," he said, as he hauled her onto the counter where the phone lay. He hadn't bothered putting his own clothes back on so she only had to tug his boxers down his legs. She buried her head in the crook of his neck as he pierced her aching pussy with his swollen member. He pushed her further into the back of the phone book in his desperation to taste more of her..."Oh R.J., she panted in his shoulder, as she dug her nails into his back. As she shifted her hips, he thrust his full length all the way inside her and continued to stab her with his desire. She felt like she would loose her footing so he picked her up...she twisted her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck as she kissed him so deeply that he could feel her tongue down his throat. He was still inside her as he emptied his seed into her...and she was begging him not to stop as they steamed up the phone booth. They spent a few more stolen moments buried inside each other and clinging to the love they could never have...he forced her to look at him...passion in her eyes...

"Say it Nora...I want to hear you say it...just once."

"Say what," she asked him?

"You _know_ what," he responded, as he plunged even harder into her.

"I...I love you R.J...I love you."

"That's all I needed to know," he said, as he carried her out of the phone booth and they made love beneath the rising sun. She slipped her clothes back on and gave him a parting kiss. "I really have to go now."

_And just like that she was gone the same way she came_...he walked back to the tent and slipped his clothes back on. He wished he could tell the world how much he loved her...he would settle for knowing that_ she_ knew...and that she loved him right back..._was he crazy for thinking he had finally found the girl who made him want to be better? Was he crazy for thinking they could last?_


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

This was a side of him she had never seen before...the side that was playful and loving and just all around great. He usually closed off his heart and tried to put on the appearance of being so tough and bad ass...but underneath it all, he was this guy she was looking at now...the guy who was taking her hand and running through a field of wildflowers with her...the guy who was swinging her around in the cool waters of the lake...the guy who could be just as much of a gentleman as he could a jerk...and she had always been the one person to see that in him...the only one who saw that other side...

_She loved him. She would be a fool not to. But with that knowledge came the sad reality that she would have to leave him eventually. _

She folded her arms around his neck as he placed a sensual kiss on her lips...the kind of kiss that stayed on your lips long after the moment had passed.

"I always wanted to go skinny dipping with you," he joked.

"You are such a liar," she returned. "You just wanted to see me naked. You didn't care how."

"Well that's true," he said. "Is it _my_ fault you have such an incredible body that men can't help but picture you naked."

"And just how long have you been picturing me naked huh?"

"Since the first moment I met you..."

"Really?"

"Really," he said. "But I got to tell you...reality...it's much better then dreams."

She smiled at him as she looked him up and down..."You're not so bad yourself."

There was a brief pause as they looked at each other...the intensity showing in their eyes. She trailed a hand down his backside as she drew him closer to her. She could feel him stiffen as she slipped a finger into his ass. "Nora," he panted, as he yanked her against him roughly.

"Problem," she asked him?

"You're not inside me yet...I want that glistening hole where it belongs..."

She giggled as she jumped into his arms and he cupped her buttocks as he kissed her. She curled her body around him as he entered her hard and deep. They made love under the waterfall until they couldn't breathe.

++++

They were laying in the field of wildflowers as R.J. brushed a tulip against her bare skin. She sunk against his chest as she held him tight.

"R.J. Gannon, when did you suddenly become a romantic?"

"Since you," he said, as he kissed her. "Since there's this girl in my life that I give a damn about."

"I," she stammered, as she looked at him.

"Don't say it Nora...Please...for tonight, can we just pretend we're a couple?"

"If that's what you want," she stated sadly.

"It is," he stated. "All I want to do right now is make love to you...and burn every single part of me inside you until you can't forget how good we are together."

She was lying underneath him as he sucked on her breasts..."R.J.," she moaned, as she felt his lips all over her blistering skin. "R.J, I...I...Oh shit" she panted against him as he thrust his bulging cock into her saturated hole. "_Oh God yes_," she whimpered, as he pierced her G Spot repeatedly...slamming into her so deep that she felt shivers run down her spine...

"Say it again Nora...say how much I turn you on," he said, as he cupped her face in his hands...she pressed her face to his, taking him in hot, scorching kisses as she admitted how much she wanted him. As he made love to her in that field of flowers, she knew she would never be able to feel anything but love and lust for him. _She was in trouble...deep trouble._

++++

Her legs shook as she sat on the exam table at the doctors office. She didn't need the words to know what he was about to say. " Congratulations, You're pregnant."

"I'm...are you sure," she asked him?

"Positive. You are most certainly pregnant. Why don't I give you a few minutes to digest this news and we'll talk about making an appointment with your OBGYN? "

She was too shocked to tell him not to bother because she wouldn't be staying here...She shouldn't have been surprised with all the sex she had been having but she was...she spent a few minutes giving in to the tears and then snuck out without another word. She went home and hugged her daughter. She made plans to leave this town...and R.J...for good. If she stayed here, then her husband would find out the truth she struggled to hide...she could deal with a lot of things in this life but she wouldn't be responsible for hurting Shaun that way...not when he was barely alive as it was.

_And yet she knew that leaving would break R.J.'s heart...she had to find a way to be strong...she couldn't let her love for him cause her to take chances she had no business taking...their affair would end tonight...tomorrow he would hate her. _

++++

She thought about telling him goodbye but then thought better of it. There was no way she could tell him where she was going or why...she would get word to him when she was settled. By then he wouldn't care. She made plans to book a flight the next day. She just took the first flight available and as far away as possible. The more distance there was, the better chance she would have at staying away.

Except she had given in tonight...tonight she had accepted his invitation to meet him at a massage parlor. She would give him this. She would give him this last night of love...and then she would leave...she didn't want to but she had to...for Shaun and their daughter...she loved R.J. but she had to be a mother first...She could never choose a man over her child. She already felt like in some ways she had been doing exactly that as they carried on with their affair...and she needed to stop...she needed to go somewhere where she could be everything that Shayla needed...be the mother she deserved...and in the meantime, she would find the strength she needed to live her life without R.J. Somehow she would do that...she had to...Her little girl would come first.

++++

She walked into the massage parlor and nearly melted at the sight before her. The room was lit with candles and soft music was playing in the background. He motioned for her to lay down on the table and she couldn't help but be awestruck.

"What is all this," she asked him?

"This is me trying to find a way to make you stay. Now please...take off your clothes."

"Well that's forward," she joked, as she walked towards him.

"Well how else am I going to give you a full body massage if you aren't naked?"

"I don't deserve this," she said. _He couldn't know she was about to break his heart._

"You deserve more," he said.

He was pleasantly surprised when he saw that she was naked under her coat. She had been anticipating this evening just as him. He slipped it off her shoulders and she climbed onto the table. He rubbed some hot oil on his palms and began to knead it into her skin as he massaged her. "That feels so good," she said, as she closed her eyes. He started with her feet and moved his way up...as he massaged her skin, he kissed her...every part of her body that was exposed to him. She wanted him to go slow...she asked him to love her like it was the first time...and he complied...

His lips were sucking on the crook of her neck as his hand ran down her thigh. She sighed in pleasure as he joined her on the table.

"Did anyone ever tell you how wonderful your hands are," she stated, as he rubbed her belly. _If he only knew she carried his child, she thought. _

"You like that baby," he asked, ignoring her question? She trembled as he moved his fingers to her aching breasts. "Look at how swollen you are," he said.

"I want you so bad," she cried, as he massaged her breasts with hungry fingers. He bit down on her nipples as he took them in his mouth and she was spooning against him as she screamed for him. "I need you R.J. , she said, as he held her tightly in his arms. His fingers were now pressing down on her pussy as he slipped them inside...fingering her until she was releasing her pent up desire onto his fingertips.

"You taste so good baby," he said, as he licked them. "So damn wet."

_"You _make me wet...you make me so damn hot..."

"I know baby...I can feel how raw you are...let me love you like you deserve...don't close your eyes this time."

He watched her face glaze over with profound need as he held her in his arms. She was looking in is eyes as he thrust his swollen member all the way inside her...he watched the tears come to her eyes as he stabbed into her repeatedly...listening to her screams of pleasure as he made love to her slowly...

++++

After making love in the massage parlor, he took her for a carriage ride in the moonlight. She settled against his bare chest as he kissed her head. He knew she was leaving him. He could feel it in her demeanor.

"Stay with me Nora," he asked her. He knew she wouldn't agree but he had to ask. He was afraid of losing her and he had never been afraid of anything. She had the power to break him open and get him to feel things he had never felt before...she was making him want to change his life...and yet...yet if she left...

"Let's not think tonight," she said. She was urgently pulling his pants from his body as they slipped under the blanket on the carriage. He could deny her nothing tonight. He couldn't ever deny her what he wanted too. "Make love to me R.J., she" begged, as they lay in the hay and pressed their naked bodies against each other...slipping their need and desire deeply inside each other. He rocked her as he made urgent love to her in that carriage. He made love to her all night long. When he awoke in the morning, she was gone.

+++

She cradled her daughter against her as she looked at her husband in the plane. She tried so hard not to resent him for turning her into this person. She loved him and she always would...but he had stopped being the man she was in love with...how could she be in love with a man who constantly pushed her away? She missed the man he was.

She closed her eyes as she held Shayla...and tried not to regret her decision to run away from the man she was desperately in love with...but she had to leave. She had to end this addiction while she still had some dignity...If she stayed with him...even though she loved him...she would grow to resent him because she would eventually hate herself...how could she be happy with this man if her husband and her daughter were miserable? She had to learn to stand on her own...to be the mother that her children deserved...Her happiness could not come at the expense of her children...

"I'm sorry," she thought to herself, as the plane took off. Tomorrow R.J. would get the letter that would destroy his life...and he would turn back into the man that closed himself off to love...cold and bitter and hateful...and that would be her fault...he wouldn't forgive her for this...she would lose him forever...

She wiped the tear from her eyes as she stared out the window. "Please forgive me for loving you," she thought. "Please forgive me for having to give you up."

She knew it was what she had to do...but her heart was in pieces as she broke his...they loved each other but the timing was all wrong...why couldn't they ever get their timing right? She was faced with an impossible choice and she had chosen her daughter...so why did her heart still ache? _she was in love with him, that's why_

"Goodbye R.J., " she whispered silently as she flew out of his life forever. R.J. would come apart when he got the letter...first promising to find her...then promising to forget her. He wasn't able to do either.

"Goodbye Nora," he said, as he tore up her pictures. He couldn't have a reminder of the woman who had broken his heart so completely. He would never again, trust in love...least of all her. He would spend the next few years self destructing...trying in vain to put her out of his heart and failing...she would spend those years trying to forget him just the same...she didn't have any more success then he did.

_Sometimes the love you want most in this world is the love that you can't have...You don't ever forget that love...it's just different. _

THE END

(Sequel Coming Soon)


End file.
